Friday 15 February 2013

Left Alone


I’m sure I’ve mentioned how much I appreciate the music of Fiona Apple before.  Scrolling down the side of my blog just now I see that I have some of her videos highlighted on this webpage of mine. Oh yeah, I remember doing that a few years ago now that I think of it ;)
Well I finally got to see her perform live here in Toronto this past summer. It was wonderful to see her live finally.  I went by myself.  
The reason I’m bringing up Fiona this evening is because I’ve found myself curled up on my couch, trying to settle down for bed, and in the usual process, listening to some of my favourite music.  I’m particularly fond of her song “Left Alone”.  It accurately sums up a key part of my character, a lyric in the song which I was startled when first heard, but upon reflection made so much sense.  People with mental health issues have a tendency to isolate themselves.  I hide away all the time.  It just seems easier that way.  I’m not sure why.  Maybe its not having to deal with others, explain my thoughts and actions to others, or just feeling at peace in my own way. I like being alone. I like this song. 

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“Left Alone”

And now I’m hard, too hard to know
I don’t cry when I’m sad anymore, no, no 
Tears calcify in my tummy
Fears coincide with the tow

How can I ask anyone to love me
When all I do is beg to be left alone?

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I know it might seem a little ironic to write this blog about wanting to be 'Left Alone' as follow up to the previous blog 'Let's Talk' but it makes total sense when you think about it from my perspective.  This blog is my way of reaching out to others. I'm alone but talking.  Its progress in my own way. 

Tuesday 12 February 2013

Let's Talk!


Today, Feb 12 is Bell’s 3rd annual Let’s Talk about mental illness day.  Being bipolar I’m quite interested about the initiative and have been tuning into CP24 and CTV news net throughout the day to see who and what they’re discussing. 
I have to admit, I truly appreciate the effort made by Bell to dispel the stigma and myths attached to mental illness. The simple title of the campaign “Let’s Talk” is both powerful and poignant.  Indeed, my life might have been very different if even my own family were able to talk about the mental illnesses that are inherited genetic traits in my family.  Bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and depression afflict my maternal relatives, while addiction (e.g. alcohol/substance abuse, gambling) afflict my paternal relatives, yet nobody on either side feels comfortable discussing the subject and its made our lives worse than they need to be.  I believe I could have been diagnosed a decade sooner than what I was if my family members hadn’t felt so ashamed or in complete denial. 
How much time and quality of life have so many of my relatives lost due to shame and silence and stigma???  
I truly hope that attitudes begin to shift and that the next generation of my family won’t have to go through what me and my predecessors went through.  

So kudos to Bell. Let's Talk about mental illness!

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A quick follow up to this blog:

Bell's Let's Talk day fundraiser for mental health initiatives (in which they donated 5 cents for each text, long distance call or tweet) raised nearly $5million dollars through nearly 95million texts/calls/tweets sent.  That's pretty sweet :)  

Sunday 3 February 2013

Mood Support Supplement

I was passing through the vitamins and supplements section of a Rexall Pharmacy recently when I spotted this particular bottle:



An Omega-3 (EPA 500, DHA 250) based supplement intended to support a healthy mood. Naturally, as a person with a Mood Disorder (e.g. bipolar disorder), I was curious. I had never heard about this type of product before now. If any of my readers have I'd be very keen to hear your thoughts on this product or others like it - feel free to email me directly or post a comment please.

I assume it must take a derivative of something like fish oil for the omega-3 essential fatty acids, which research has indicated to have an affect on mood.  Now I wonder if this product only benefits people who are naturally deficient in omega-3's, which causes their unbalanced moods, or could it help other types of mood disorders in general (e.g. depression, bipolar disorder)? As these other types of mood disorders (which are mental illnesses) are often caused by problems with brain chemistry directly related to neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, glutamate and GABA.
   
With these questions in mind I did a little research of my own. I pulled out 'The Natural Medicine Guide to Bipolar Disorder' (written by Stephanie Marohn) and looked into the relationship between omega-3's and mood.  In this guidebook it explains that the building blocks of most neurotransmitters (as well as their synapses and receptors) are derived from the amino acids obtained from omega-3 fatty acids, and are thus essential for healthy brain function. Interesting.

The idea of taking an omega-3 supplement for long term health care is much more appealing than taking something as toxic as lithium!  Now I don't expect this to be a miracle drug by any means, as I'm sure bipolar disorder is much more complex in cause and long term management (from my experience anyway), but if some fish oil can help even a little bit its worth a try in my opinion.
While I haven't run out and bought a bottle just yet, I'm going to keep looking into it.  And if anyone has any thoughts on this I'm keen to hear them.
  
Maybe I'll have some salmon for dinner tonight ;)

Now that's food for thought!