Normally I abhor politics. I avoid it at all costs. But every once in awhile a politician captures my attention for some reason or other. And Justin Trudeau did just that this week when he called a certain tory a piece of shit during Question Period. It was awesome! The best thing I heard all week.
Question Period in the House of Commons has become so boring, so scripted, so politically correct, that it might as well not even take place at all. Just send out the scripted memo for those who even care to download because we all know what questions are going to be asked and what responses are going to be quoted.
But once in awhile a politician who cares more about honesty and his/her constituents snaps and parts from the approved script and instead speaks from the heart and the gut.
Justin Trudeau called a conservative politician exactly what he was (and still is, I can only assume) - a piece of shit - and was completely justified in doing so - with both evidence and ethics on his side. And I applaud him for it. I wish more politicians had the balls that Justin Trudeau has. It must be a genetically inherited trait.
Isn’t it usually the men with the smallest balls who act out as the toughest bullies to justify their inferiority complex? I’m in control, I have power, you must obey me, even though I have a teeny tiny penis, like most conservatives.
The strength, courage and balls of Justin Trudeau have ignited a political fire within many women who’ve been left politically frigid in recent times.
That’s why I’m proud to announce the “Trudeau Hot Hot Hotline”. This 1 800 number will absolutely meet all of your most deepest desired political needs. Wether you’re a desperate housewife, a hot college co-ed or a disillusioned girlfriend, you’ll feel pure uncensored satisfaction after chatting with one of our Trudeau Hot Hot Hotline representatives. What are you waiting for? Call now!
Unsure for some reason? Its OK, we understand, you must be used to being disappointed constantly. So, you don’t have to take my word alone for it. Listen to some of our very very satisfied callers who’ve spoken to our Trudeau hot hot hotline representatives:
1. Desperate Housewife:
Allo? Please I need you now! Oui Madame! What can I do for you, mon cheri? I’m all alone, no one is here to help me, the cries of the children are endless, I need a man who can give me what I need! What do you need? Tell me! I want to give it to you so bad! I need more affordable daycare! Please! Give it to me NOW!!!! Ohhh!!!!! please!....
2. A college co-ed:
Between sobs...is this the Trudeau hot hot hotline?.... sniff sniff.... yes it is, oh please darling I can’t bear to hear you cry. What can I do to comfort you in your hour of need? Well I’m only 18 yrs old... and I’m having trouble paying both my college tuition and rent. I don’t know what I’m going to do at the end of the month! I’m afraid I might have to drop out of school - unless maybe you could help me arrange another way to pay off my student loan... I can be very flexible with the new terms. It would be a shame to have your talents go to waste - you poor thing. I’ll think of you, and your situation, every time I have to find motivation to keep fighting the good fight...
3. Disappointed girlfriend:
Oh Justin, I used to think that the stiff, hard, rigid standards my MP always gave me, time and time and over and over again were enough to meet my needs. But lately I’m wishing that my Member could experiment a little. I’d like my opinion to count sometimes too. Why can’t I be on top sometimes? There’s no communication, no passion, no desire. Oh my dear - how much suffering have you endured? You poor soul! Sometimes he gets so angry he won’t even let me talk to other people. Just his family members only. I’m not allowed to talk to strangers. I have no voice!!! No one can hear me cry - only you Justin! Please Justin - do you hear me? Can you help me? I need to feel your strength inside me! I need to know what else there is out there. Help me see what else is out there!! Yes, yes, let me lift you up! I will rise to the challenge and meet your needs. Join my liberal party and I’ll listen to your needs in whatever position you desire! You deserve it my dear!
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Convinced yet? What more can be said? The rest is up to you! Why wait any longer? Pick up the phone and make the call you’ve been longing for. Justin’s hot hot hotline reps are ready, willing and able to take care of you now! Make the call!! He's the man - the politician- you've been waiting for. He'll listen to your needs when you call.
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