How I came to be an escort

Often I’ll be sitting on the couch chatting with a client over a glass of wine. Or maybe we’re both naked laying in the afterglow when their curiosity gets the better of them and they have to ask me “How did I become an escort?”  Most people think that girls like me would never prostitute themselves. They don’t have to. I certainly don’t have to, that’s true. I am a well educated, intelligent, nice young lady.  I had a good upbringing, feel loved, not trafficked or addicted to hardcore drugs. But I still sell my body. Why?  What most people don’t understand is that a rare few women can actually enjoy this work and get into it by choice. Not always are prostitutes forced by desperation, deceit or drugs as mainstream media and religious groups would have you believe. 

Honestly, I consider this work more dignified than being a servant at a fast food restaurant or paper pusher trapped in a cubicle. I also get paid what I’m worth.  I could never go back to earning $10/hr when I currently make $200/hr. I’m also my own boss and set my own schedule.  Which women are really slaves in society? Not the deviant. 

However, my free choice to become an escort did not come about lightly or typically, and there were many extenuating circumstances that lead me in this direction initially.  Let me share them with you...

I believe my bipolar disorder has played a major role. I was manic when it all began.  I had just been diagnosed, fired from my job at the bookstore, taking (prescribed) anti-depressant medication which were inappropriate for me (although not recognized at the time) and in my mania I was not thinking logically. I was also highly promiscuous, another symptom of bipolar mania.  My perfect storm was brewing. 

As we know people who are manic are not thinking clearly and logically. It is often the poor judgement calls they make while ill that cause them the most trouble in life.  I was incredibly promiscuous at this point due to my illness. After another one night stand I jokingly thought to myself how great it would be if I could get paid for having all this sex.  Hhhmmm, actually, you know what, I’m a girl with a hot body, I really could.  It seemed like a good idea at the time.  A week later I called up an escort service (I worked with this agency for my first 6 months before going indie) and the rest as they say is history. 

Here’s the catch. Although I was manic and not in my right mind when I starting hooking I didn’t stay sick forever.  I got healthy after a few months and came back to my right mind.  The surprising thing was that even with a clear mind I wanted to keep hooking.  I felt surprisingly empowered.  It gives me control in my life where I otherwise would not possess any.  It gives me money, power and self-confidence.  This is hard for most people to understand because of personal hang ups (e.g. religious/ethical beliefs, illegal trafficking and drug addiction, media protroyal, hypocritical laws and their enforcement, inability to separate sex and love, fear of disease, etc.).   

Yet, I’ve often wondered IF I were diagnosed earlier would I have become a prostitute?  I mean, IF I hadn’t made poor judgement calls because I was mentally ill which resulted in me getting fired would I not have thought about a career change?  Would I still have been so sexually active and thought about exchanging sex for money?  

One of the major factors which probably caused my swing into full blown mania was my usage of anti-depressant medications.  Bipolar patients have a very poor tolerance for anti-depressants typically prescribed for unipolar depression.  Instead of just cheering us up, it sends us over the fucking moon. I went over the fucking moon into mania and it wasn’t until all the poor decisions caught up with me, when all the damage was done that it became painfully clear what was going on inside me.  Initially my psychiatrist diagnosed me with major depressive disorder when I first presented myself to him.   

I honestly wonder IF I wasn’t prescribed certain meds would I have chosen to become an escort?  I can never say for sure but it does make me wonder. I don’t blame my psychiatrist for this, nobody knew about the full spectrum of my mood disorder at that time.  I don’t solely blame the meds.  However, I think it is something that should be considered, especially when diagnosing patients whose full history or tolerance may be unknown.  Its a conundrum for sure. 

Naturally, I don’t tell this whole perfect storm story to each client that asks me how I came to be an escort. Most people probably wouldn’t be comfortable with my bipolar disorder.  What I tell them is that I have a high sex drive and figured I might as well get paid for it, and also that I had a hard time finding a decent paying job with just my bachelor’s degree.  It sure beats waitressing I laugh. 

One final note that I want to stress. Please keep in mind, this is my story and not anyone else’s. How I react to things may be very different than others so I wouldn’t expect all women in my situation to become prostitutes. Not all women with bipolar disorder become prostitutes!  I am unique.